Great Ronald Reagan Quotes

His definition of federal economic policy 

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. 

On Lyndon Johnson's Great Society 

We declared war on poverty, and poverty won. 

On big government 

A government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth. 

It is an alimentary canal with an appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. 

On learning that government warehouses currently had 478 million pounds of surplus butter 

Four hundred and seventy-eight million pounds of butter! Does anyone know where we can find 478 million pounds of popcorn? 

On socialism 

A man goes up to a grocery store clerk in Moscow and asks for a kilogram of beef, half a kilogram of butter and a quarter kilogram of coffee. "We're all out," the clerk says, and the man leaves. 

Another man, observing this incident, says to the clerk, "That old man must be crazy." The clerk replies, "Yeah, but what a memory!" 

Reagan told this one to Mikhail Gorbachev 

An American and a Russian were arguing. The American said, "Look, I can go into the Oval Office, pound the President's desk and say: Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country." 

And the Russian responded, "I can do that." The American said, "You can?" 

The Russian replied, "Sure. I can go into the Kremlin, into the General Secretary's office, and say: Mr. General Secretary, I don't like the way that President Reagan is running his country." 

(Apparently Gorbachev was greatly amused.) 

Reagan enjoyed telling this Winston Churchill story 

Churchill stops by a men's room where he encounters Labourite Clement Attlee, the man who replaced him as Prime Minister after WWII. 

When Attlee took the next urinal, Churchill moved a few places away. 

"My, my, Winston," Attlee said. "Are we being modest?" 

Churchill replied: "Not at all, Clement. It's just that whenever you Labourite chaps see something that is large, privately owned and working well, you want to nationalize it." 

On sexually explicit scenes in modern movies 

I have always thought it was more suggestive to see a hand reach out and hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. 

On choosing a new member for the Council of Economic Advisers 

I've got several millionaires in my Cabinet who have made their own money. Why do I need a bunch of economists? 

On the shrewdness of the common man 

A lawyer and a farmer have a head-on collision on a country road. No one is badly hurt, but both men are shaken. Farmer goes to his car and brings out a flask and offers it to the lawyer. "You look like you need a drink." Lawyer takes a swig and then, at the farmer's urging, another. 

He hands the flask to the farmer. "Your turn." Farmer: "No thanks. I'm waiting for the sheriff." 

On human nature 

Two campers were hiking in the woods when they spotted a grizzly bear headed straight for them. One of them reached into his backpack and began to put on his running shoes. 

"What are you doing," his friend said. "You can't possibly outrun a grizzly." 

The other fellow said, "I don't have to outrun the grizzly. I just have to outrun you." 




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